what to do after you are attacked by a person
At DC Bear upon Self Defense force, the author offset learned how to avert attacks, and so how to fight. Photo by Jeff Elkins
When It's Someone Y'all Know
Women are more than probable to be attacked by an acquaintance than by a stranger. Defending yourself against someone you thought you knew tin can be harder than throwing a punch at a stranger in a dark alley. Here are tips for defending against known attackers.
1. Recognize warning signs
What may beginning as someone showing up at your workplace uninvited or calling all the time could be a precursor of a relationship that turns abusive. One of the biggest signs, says Lauren Taylor of Defend Yourself, is when the other person "won't listen to your no. If yous set a purlieus and the person doesn't respect it, no affair what the situation, that should be a big blood-red flag."
ii. Speak up
Exact self-defense can come into play anytime that anyone—a spouse, a colleague, a neighbor—does something that makes you uncomfortable. Taylor suggests that you "attack the behavior, not the person," telling him exactly what he's doing that you don't like. For instance, you should say: "You are in my infinite," rather than calling him a "freak" or a "perv."
3. Let no exist no
Boundary-setting is almost letting the people around yous know what you are and aren't comfortable with. Taylor advises that if you lot want to say no to someone—for instance, to going home with him—say that without making excuses. And state what you want: "I accept to leave now" rather than "Tin can I go out now?"
4. Try to not escalate the state of affairs
When someone is already mad, the worst thing you lot can do is fan the flame. If he says, for example, "Are y'all laughing at me?" don't contend. "Don't make them wrong, don't disrespect them, don't challenge them, don't attempt to control them, don't threaten them," says Carol Middleton of DC Affect Self-Defense. Instead, you tin counter with questions that distract the person. Say, for instance, "Oh, was I laughing? I must have been thinking of something that happened earlier."
v. Information technology's okay to overreact
"Improve to overreact and feel like an idiot and become abode safe than to call up what most people practise," says Middleton. " 'I'm simply being silly, he'due south just a guy.' " If you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't affair if you're going to hurt someone's feelings or audio rude.
When It'southward a Stranger
Though less mutual, attacks by strangers do happen. Here are a few tips for pre-venting those.
1. Be mindful on Metro
Although there have been some extreme cases of brutal assaults, and one rape, in the by year on Metro trains, information technology's more likely that the kind of crime you would come across is the theft of your electronic devices. Metro law chief Ronald Pavlik says that sitting in the middle of the train—not past the door, where the robber can grab your phone and be at the escalator earlier you realize what has happened—is a good way to protect your belongings.
Nevertheless, if yous lath a train and someone is creeping you out, sit down in the seat nearest the door, facing in. That way, if the person starts harassing you, you can more than easily switch train cars as soon as the doors open up.
2. Don't expect similar a target
"One of the main things that is preventative in self-defense is that y'all act very much self-possessed and not like a victim," says Carol Middleton, who teaches her students to walk with an athletic stride and to await tough, even if they don't feel like information technology.
If someone who is coming toward you makes you experience uneasy, y'all can oftentimes thwart a potential confrontation by acknowledging that person every bit a human existence—saying "hey" or "good morning," for instance.
three. Try to not zone out
A number of Pokémon Go–related robberies were reported when the game launched, which shouldn't be a surprise. Non only are you lot less aware of your environment when you lot're captivated in a screen, talking on your cell phone, or listening through headphones, but those behaviors are likewise a betoken to criminals that you lot're a target.
four. Trust your gut
If y'all're on the street and something feels weird, duck into a store, strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking person, or get to a more heavily populated place. Don't ignore your intuition—it's there for a reason.
5. Ask for help
If someone is harassing you, don't be agape to ask a bystander—whether another stranger or a bartender—to arbitrate and assistance you end the unwanted encounter.
When Signing Upwards for Self-Defense
While the classes mentioned in this commodity are prophylactic bets, if you're on the hunt for other options, scout out for a few red flags.
1. The "Practise This or You'll Dice" Guy
He wants you to think he's got all the answers and to scare you lot into listening to him. A good self-defence force grade will teach you in that location's no i-skill-fits-all; it volition equip you with a variety of skills—verbal and physical—that you can use according to the situation.
ii. The Bully
A self-defense instructor shouldn't be but as scary equally the people you're preparation to fight confronting. If he's screaming at you, information technology's time to get out.
3. The Perfectionist
If he'due south furious because yous executed a kick the "wrong" way, reconsider the course. When it comes to self-defense, if information technology works and yous go out alive, you lot've washed it correctly, even if it wasn't according to form.
How to Stay Safety . . . for Kids
More than 20 years ago, Irene van der Zande was leading a field trip with a group of seven-yr-olds through downtown Santa Cruz, California, when a human approached, screaming that he was going to have one of the little girls equally his bride. Motivated by that run across, van der Zande today runs a nonprofit, Kidpower, which works to arm children with self-defense skills against bullies, abusive relatives, and strangers.
The Virginia Kidpower Center and Chesapeake and Potomac Kidpower Heart both accept pupils as immature equally three, but here are some Kidpower-canonical safety skills you tin can employ with youngsters correct now.
one. Let them know you're never too busy to talk
"We have something called the Kidpower protection promise," says van der Zande, "which is for adults, at least once a year, to say to every child in their care: 'You lot are very important to me, and if you have a safety trouble, I want to know. Even if I seem as well busy, even if somebody we intendance nigh would be upset, even if you lot fabricated a mistake and did something incorrect, even if you promised not to tell, please tell me and I will do everything in my power to assistance you.' "
2. Don't but tell them what to do—rehearse information technology
"Kids are literal, so they have to understand how to employ their safety skills in unlike situations," van der Zande explains. "Parents tend to think safety is a quondam conversation or class. Information technology'due south not. It's like developing the skills for crossing the street. You don't let them cantankerous that street on their own until they have demonstrated that they can recognize what looks safe and unsafe."
3. Make a safety plan everywhere yous get
"It might be equally you're walking into the store and you say, 'Allow's brand a plan for if we become lost,' " van der Zande says. "You should know that kids might not recall [instructions] from two weeks agone."
four. Don't worry about feeling bad-mannered
"The rubber or well-beingness of a child is worth causing embarrassment, inconvenience, or offense," says van der Zande, referencing something Ellen Bass, coauthor ofThe Courage to Heal,said to her when they were launching Kidpower.
This means that potentially offending the coach who made your child uncomfortable or having to ask your child embarrassing questions is always worth it to keep him or her safe.
This article appears in the Nov 2016 effect of Washingtonian.
Associate Editor
Caroline Cunningham joined Washingtonian in 2014 after moving to the DC area from Cincinnati, where she interned and freelanced for Cincinnati Magazine and worked in content marketing. She currently resides in Higher Park.
Source: https://www.washingtonian.com/2016/11/07/17-self-defense-tips-that-will-make-you-safer/
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